Wishing at Midnight

A letter I’ll never send.

Dear You, 

What can I say? You’re everything to me at this very moment. Your smile drives me insane and those cute messages you sent me (though kinda short and rare) replay in my head over and over. Every hug and surprise kiss is held firmly in my heart. It sounds so stupid and corny to say that. I get that way when I talk about you. You’re so honest, kind, smart, and dorky. I always ask myself, why did you choose me? I mean, you had like twenty girls to choose from. I’m not beautiful or super intelligent. I’m not well-mannered or selfless. Instead, I’m childish and impulsive. I’m weird and have different beliefs than you. I have a past that has caused you problems. I’m so sorry for that. I wish you never had to see that guy and I hope you never have to cross paths with him again. But why me? You never told me why you love me. But I know you mean it. I can tell by the way you look at me, the way you act. Those small gestures of affection, that sudden flash of anger in your face when some other guy is near. I know you care. I never have to question myself on that. I hope you feel that way about me. But I have to be realistic. This is your first love and your first love is almost always never your last. So I thank for the honor being that girl. Thank you for letting me love you since that very first day. We have less than two weeks left together and I’m growing numb inside. Nothing feels right. I don’t want to feel happy. I don’t want to feel the hurt. I don’t want to think about losing you. But that thought is looming over my head everyday. Every night. It’s scary. A whole two months without you. A whole two months without seeing you or hearing your laugh or walking beside you or having those awkward moments or holding your hand. I won’t be able to feel your presence anymore. That alone makes me more depressed and alone than anything else in the world right now. You’re a big reason for why I can smile or get up to go to school. You’re my inspiration to write stories. I want to wait for you. I promise I’ll be there for you. Through thick and thin. It doesn’t matter to me if I have to be your friend or more than that. As long as you want me there, I’ll stand by your side. I’m happy with just that. I love you. I love you so much. I want you to be happy doing whatever you do. I want you to smile that way you smiled when we rode the bus together to go to the writer’s conference. Or that smile you had on your face when we told each other we had mutual feeling. Or that smile on your lips after we kissed for the first time during the snow fall. I want to see that smile you had when we walked together to your locker for that first time. It all seems so far away, but I can still see it. I can still feel that warmth. It’s a wonderful feeling and I hope I never have to let it go. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me so far. You’ve done so much in so little time. So for now, good bye. If you still love me next year, maybe we can start anew?

I still wonder what the hell he sees in me

The Vow made me wonder why can’t we all just love just one person the way Leo loved Paige

bringourheartshome:

I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home. I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to ne　ver forget that this is a once in a lifetime love.

Forehead kisses are the sweetest(:

LOL…I love how everyone stares at me awkwardly when I kiss my boyfriend but when its my best friend they don’t give a flying shit about it..